It's not like I need anything to remind me of him. It's not like I don't think of him day in and day out but these chimes bring him constantly to the forefront of my mind. The chimes have a sweet melodious tone that even entices the birds to sing with them. Maybe the birds sing in celebration of a new day, or maybe they sing just to serenade me in my hours of grief.
The chimes were a memorial gift given to me when my husband died. They are his chimes because they bear his name. These chimes gently sway back and forth on my deck. Every time I hear them I have to stop and say, "Thank you God for giving me Bill to love for more than 44 years." Its funny, I have several other chimes on my deck that have their own unique sound, but it's Bill's chimes that always catch my attention.
Yes, Bill and I were able to spend 44 years together, 40 of which were wedded bliss. We did almost everything together. He had a special way he held my hand and I told him that if he were replaced with a clone, I'd know it wasn't him by the way he held my hand. These are the things you cherish once they are no longer around. It's the simple things that can't be bought that bring me to the point of tears. It's not only the way he held my hand, but it also the way he said my name or the "pet" names he used to call me. It's that special look he gave me when I was doing something silly or the way he used to roll his tongue if he was being intense about something. He had so many mannerisms that I miss. The chimes help me remind myself that these memories can never be taken but they are mine to hold for a lifetime. Each sway of the chimes ring out those special things that Bill gave to me.
Today is our wedding anniversary. We would have been married 42 years. Most of the time we celebrated our anniversary simply but sometimes he'd surprise me with a weekend get-away. It really didn't matter what we did; we were together and that was all that mattered.
Even after 2 years, I miss him so much; especially today when I remember our wedding day. The day was filled with memory stopping moments. My mother's house was filled with guests from out of state that came to celebrate the union of "two young kids" who were starting their lives together. The day was filled with festivities. I think I remember each detail. Those chimes ringing on my deck sometimes bring me back to the exact moment; that exact moment when I looked him in his eyes and said "I do." My commitment was for a lifetime, as was his.
The wind chimes on my deck sometimes bring me to tears but most of the time they bring me comfort. Strangely, I feel that it is not that wind that makes my chimes sing, but the movement of Bill's hand as he stirs memories inside of me.
