SHUT IN

I don't think I can take another day of being shut in my house; but the governor says it's the best thing I can do to contribute to the safety of Ohio.  While my friends in the Emergency Department and ICU are fighting on the front lines, I'm at home thinking up things to do to pass the time.  The Paramedics and EMT's fight through the lines of disease to care for people and I sit at home and watch Untold Stories of the ER on the television when I'm not watching updates about Covid-19.  I have to keep telling myself that I'm a front line defender by staying home and keeping my small part of Ohio safer by not spreading the disease.  But the thing is that I don't have the disease.  I don't have any of the symptoms but I self quarantine anyway.

I think of all the people in the ER, ICU, Paramedics, EMT's working without a fresh mask to cover their face.  They have to be content to cover their face with a week old surgical mask or a mask that has been cleaned.  It angers me that it has got this far.  Didn't we learn from China or Italy?  Didn't we watch as their PPE (Personal Protection Equipment) diminished.  Should we have started developing things to protect us before we got to this?  Why are we so far behind the 8 ball. Did we think that white privilege would be granted a reprieve from this illness?  Now we have a new name that's said so quietly it can barely be heard.  Shhhh, The United States has become the epicenter of the Covid -19 disease.  Don't say it too loud or some people might start to believe it.

My heart breaks for the first responders that have to put their life on the line every time they take care of a patient.  Covid -19 is so insidious that you can have the disease before you realize you have the disease.  Without the use of N95 masks, the spread of the disease will be high.  Just now, there is a plan in the future for health care workers to stay in hospitals/hotels/ etc. if they have been exposed to the Covid-19 virus.  Are they going to be quarantined their room? Will somebody that's able bring food to their room that they can cook in a microwave?  I don't know how that's going to work.  It looks like a mess to me, but it all looks like a mess to me. 

How did we get into this condition?  Didn't we learn anything from China, Italy, Hong Kong?  Didn't we hear their cries of ventilator shortages, mask shortages and health care workers in harms way?  Did we think that it would not happen to us.  Right now we are trading products for masks and gowns, couldn't that have happened before this pandemic caught hold of us completely. 

The president wants this "gone" by Easter.  He says the country should be back to working order by then.  I too, wish the government would have this gone by Easter, but with Ohio stating that we will have 10,000 new cases a day by the end of April, beginning of May it doesn't look like this Easter Dinner is no going to be like the ones of the past.

I keep thinking, right or wrong, that we expected the Covid-19 virus not to affect us.  Somehow, we expected it to stay on "that" side of the country which isn't as wealthy as we are.  The problem is it's here now and what do we do with it as a country?  What can we do to contain the spread of this disease.

I can tell you I am one of those "high risk person" who had been healthy but shut in my house for over 2 weeks.  I have my dogs to talk to but they really only talk about what they want to talk about.  They don't do any adult talking.  I look forward to face timing with my children (adults) and that brightens up my day for awhile. I enjoy walking around my yard when there isn't anyone else out.  I even like taking out the garbage when I have too.  But with the rain, that has even been limited.

I do get out and drive which is my only "big girl" thing I do and I was surprised to find how many golfers were at the golfing range and how many teenagers were playing basketball at the local playground.  It maddens me that I have to stay in while others can go about their business as if nothing is wrong.  Where is the crack down on that?

I wrote this because I felt sorry for myself.  I once was a front line responder and now I am retired and don't get to "save lives."  But I did learn something from writing this article.  I may not be the nurse or the doctor on the front lines, I may not be the EMT or Paramedic, I many not be one of a host of medical professionals who risk their lives everyday to thwart this Covid-19 disease.  I am a front line stay at home-er.  I follow the recommendations so that YOU don't get sick.  I hope you are doing the same.